ho do you forgive

How Do You Forgive the Addict in Your Life? 8 Tips for Accepting Amends

Addiction hurts everyone involved; not just the addict. Even so, it’s difficult to forgive and forget.

According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 19.7 million adults battled substance abuse in 2017. That’s a lot of forgiveness to work through.

If your loved one recently battled their own addiction, it’s understandable that you’re hurt. If your loved one recently attended an addiction treatment program, it may be time to consider forgiveness.

How do you forgive that hurt?

With these eight tips, you can forge a path toward forgiveness. Then, you can mend the broken bridges of your relationship and get back on track.

1. Understanding Addiction

Before you can forgive your loved one, it’s important to understand what they experienced.

Understanding their choices and actions doesn’t mean accepting them, though. Rather, this will give you their perspective of what happened.

Often enough, the addict never set out to hurt you in the first place.

Addiction causes people to lose sight of anything beyond their substance abuse.

They’re concerned about getting their next fix, or not getting caught. This causes them to neglect their relationships in favor of drugs or alcohol.

Your loved one might have felt imprisoned by their addiction. They might also have felt so guilty that they couldn’t admit or discuss the addiction.

This can cause them to draw up walls and isolate themselves.

Think about the emotions your loved one experienced during their addiction. Empathy does not minimize the pain you feel. However, it can make it easier for you to forgive them.

2. Make an Effort

If you really want to answer the question “how do I forgive my loved one for their addiction”, you need to make an effort.

Remind yourself why you want to find a way to forgive them. Does strengthening your relationship after their addiction matter to you? Do you want to support your loved one on the path to recovery?

Determine that reason. Then, focus on letting go of your negative emotions.

You’re in control here. It’s in your power to choose a healthier path for you both.

Forgiveness isn’t instantaneous. It requires effort and commitment. If you want to forgive your loved one, focus on making that effort every day.

In a way, you’re experiencing your own road to recovery, too.

3. Recap Lessons Learned

An experience like this can teach you a lot in life. It can even prepare you for difficult situations down the road.

As you work towards forgiveness, ask yourself what the overall situation taught you.

If something similar happened in the future, would you react differently?

You might even decide to learn the signs of addiction during your research. That way, you can recognize the signs in the future. You might even be able to save a life by recognizing those signs.

Step back and review everything you’ve learned.

This can help you appreciate the growth you’ve experienced. That way, you can move beyond this situation with more wisdom than you had going in.

4. Don’t Wait

Choosing to forgive your loved one is your choice. That means you don’t have to wait for the addict to make amends first.

Instead, remember you’re doing this for your own emotional health. In fact, forgiveness can improve our physical wellness, too. Forgiveness can also:

  • Lower anxiety
  • Improve mental health
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Reduce depression symptoms
  • Improve heart health
  • Improve self-esteem
  • Reduce stress

Why wait for all of those health benefits?

Instead, set a positive example for your loved one. They might not feel capable of apologizing or making healthy choices right now. If you step forward first, you can help them through their struggles.

That way, you’re making a healthy decision for you both.

5. Ask for Help

It’s okay if you need a little help. With 19.7 million Americans struggling with substance abuse, there are plenty of other family members and friends asking the same question you are.

“How do you forgive the addict in your life?”

Asking for help can help you gain a fresh perspective. Whether you go to a therapist, support group, or friend, you also gain a sounding board.

That way, you have help navigating this situation.

You can also contact one of our representatives to learn more about the road to recovery.

6. Don’t Keep Score

According to the American Psychological Association, 40 to 50 percent of U.S. marriages end in divorce.

Keeping our emotions bottled up or building a list of negatives isn’t healthy. In fact, that list of negatives can cause resentment. As a result, the statistic above will increase every year.

Try not to keep score or remind the addict of their past mistakes. This can increase their guilt, making it more difficult for them to recover.

Instead, focus on the future. Looking ahead can help you let go of your grip on the past.

7. Assess Your Emotions

It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. However, bottling up your emotions isn’t healthy.

Instead, assess what you’re feeling, then try to release these negative emotions.

Otherwise, you won’t be able to achieve true forgiveness.

It’s up to you whether to say the words “I forgive you” aloud. When you truly forgive your loved one, it will show.

It’s important to forgive yourself, too. Not everyone makes the right choices or reacts the right way.

You may have given your loved one money you didn’t know supported their drug abuse. You may have also reacted in anger when discovering the truth.

Instead of harboring your own guilt, learn from these mistakes. That way, you know how to handle these situations in a healthier way.

8. Give Yourself Time

Remember, forgiveness isn’t immediate. Don’t rush yourself.

Instead, use these tips to the best of your ability and give your emotional wounds time to heal.

How Do You Forgive Drug Abuse: 8 Tips for Mending Relationships

How do you forgive drug abuse? There’s isn’t one easy answer. This forgiveness takes time, effort, and the desire to forgive.

With these eight tips, you can take the first steps toward forgiveness.

Remember, you’re not alone—and neither is your loved one. Get your loved one the help they need today by exploring our treatment options.


visiting family

Visiting Family in Rehab: The Top Do’s and Don’ts

Your family member finally made the right decision to complete a rehab treatment. However, the decision wasn’t an easy one no matter how simple it may seem to us. This was a big step for them, and it’s definitely one in the right direction.

Now that they’ve been away in rehab, you’re looking to visit them. But visiting family members in rehab isn’t always easy. It can take a toll not only on the visitor but the person being visited as well.

It’s an emotional time for all parties involved, but most importantly for the person receiving the treatment. When deciding to visit your family in a rehab center, know that you’ve made the right choice. They need all the support that they can get and in the most appropriate ways possible.

Continue reading for a guide on the top dos and don’ts of visiting family in rehab.

The Don’ts When Visiting Family in Rehab

Although visiting family members at the treatment facility is the first step to being supportive throughout the process, there are some things to hold back from saying or doing while there. Here are 5 don’ts when visiting.

1. Don’t Bring in Negativity

One of the most important don’ts to keep in mind when visiting is to not bring in any type of negativity around them. Chances are that they’ve already been through some pretty negative times and getting through the treatment might not be the easiest thing for them. This is why they need all of the positive energy around them as possible.

They need people to come around and bring them up rather than knock them down. Talking about drama in the family or other close sources only adds more stress and anxiety that isn’t needed.

2. Don’t Mention Money

It’s no secret that attending a rehab program cost money. Even with affordable treatments, the family member in recovery might still feel guilty about the cost. This is why the mention of money during your visit with them is a don’t.

Reminding them of any money struggles might cause a relapse.

3. Don’t Mention the Future

It’s best to keep the recovering addict in the present moment. You won’t want to mention future plans to them. Any talk about where they’re going to go after treatment, where they’ll work, or how they’ll stay sober is too much too soon for the person in recovery.

The thoughts of the future build onto already present stress and anxiety. It is much better to focus on the present and remaining sober in recovery.

4. Don’t Comment on Their Weight

Those going through a rehab treatment might experience some weight gain or loss. It is normal as the body is going through a lot of changes. Bringing up their weight whether it’s done in a complimenting way or not just shouldn’t be done.

No matter if you think they look worst or much better, you never know how they are feeling about the weight loss or gain. Commenting on it in any way may embarrass them. If it’s something that they want to talk about, let them bring it up to you and be sure to always remain positive.

5. Don’t Apply Pressure

Don’t apply pressure on them when visiting. They’re already aware of the damages that they’ve caused financially, personally, and more. They know that there is probably some mending to do within their relationships and a lot of building to do once recovered.

Don’t apply pressure for them to make all of these changes right away. It takes time and the most important part is getting them sober.

The Dos when Visiting Family in Rehab

Now that we’ve discussed the don’ts, let’s focus on the dos and all the greatness that comes from them. Here are 5 dos when visiting family in rehab.

1. Do Arrive on Time

Do be sure to arrive on time for your visit. Because routine is such an important part of the recovery process, the facility is run on a well put together schedule. And this requires you to be on time for your visits.

Even better than arriving on time is to arrive a couple of minutes early to ensure that everything is ready to go.

2. Do Applaud Them

Do make it a point to applaud them for all their hard work and great decisions. Choosing to go to rehab wasn’t an easy decision, and it took a lot of courage to do so. This high amount of courage should be praised and applauded.

This shows the recovering family member that you are there to support and encourage them throughout the process. And they really need someone like this by their side.

3. Do Introduce Yourself to Staff

Do be sure to take the time to meet with and introduce yourself to the staff. Keep yourself involved in the process. Get to know the people who have been working so hard with your family members around the clock to get them all the help they need.

Be sure to ask any questions that you might come up with and keep on top of their planned discharge date.

4. Do Discuss the Weather and News Events

It’s a great idea to bring up a conversation about the weather or news events. You’ll want to keep the conversations light. There’s no need to bring up any feelings or emotions that you or other family members may be feeling about the situation.

Try to make the visit and conversations seem as casual as possible and just enjoy being there in their company.

5. Do Bring Something to Share

You might want to consider bringing along something to share with them. An item that is brought in by you to share with them is a great conversation starter, and they’ll love to see it. Consider bringing in items like family photos, favorite snacks, funny movies, or even music.

It’s a wonderful gift to have a piece of the outside world brought to them.

Visiting Family in Rehab

When visiting family members in rehab, keep these tips in mind. Always stay positive and never add more stress. If you or a loved one could benefit from rehab, contact us today.

We’re here to help.